My Profile

"Why is your Profile empty?" Ruth wanted to know.

I stammered as I searched for an answer. I didn't want to be pinned down, put in a box. Besides, none of my former identifiers seemed to fit. Since I've arrived in Paris, alone, I no longer feel like mother, daughter, wife, big sister, or caretaker. And I certainly am no longer software sales person or client advocate. I am far from "my" moms and babies, so the label Lamaze instructor and doula doesn't quite fit here in Paris. Furthermore, I feel like I'm still in a chrysalis, having left my caterpillar body behind. I am now dissolving and evolving into a new form; knowing that I may emerge as a butterfly, but not yet knowing what colors I'll be. My wings are not yet dry. I'm not quite ready to fly.

So I didn't know what to present in my profile. How can I show a picture or describe who I am if I don't yet know?

"Your profile doesn't have to be fixed in amber," responded Ruth. "You can change it. Daily. You can describe who you are TODAY. Not yesterday, not tomorrow."

And so dear Readers, maybe you've noticed that I've started putting pictures in my Profile. And the pictures have changed. They will continue to change as my wings start to dry and as my colors become clearer. And I will start to describe who I am - at least for today.