I just reread my last two postings and noticed that I wrote "music playing in the background". Twice. Why bother to mention something so innocuous, so banal? I suspect that many of you have music playing in the background. But in my former home I did not. My significant other didn't like music playing in the background and so I accepted that without question, without confrontation. He also didn't like candles. So no candlelight dinners for us! This is not a complaint, not an indictment of him. I probably didn't even know what I wanted. If so, I never made my wishes known. There was never a confrontation about something so trite.
Perhaps this is another lesson learned from my mother who has spent 60 years accepting the primacy of my father's wishes over her own?
Did I have to come all the way to Paris to notice these things? I don't know. Maybe. Now I have the time and the space and the music playing the background to write and to discover what is important to me.
Elaine-I finally had time to catch up on your blog and spent over an hour reading about your adventures. Several times throughout, you had moments of extreme pleasure, pauses for reflection and memories of sadness as well as happiness. Often was the underlying question.....what am I doing..?!
ReplyDeleteMy observation....you are doing what most people don't. You are pushing your limits, validating that which you knew about yourself, taking in all the glory and beauty the world has to offer, making time to 'think' and not just 'do'. Reflecting on past choices and the impact/meaning of those on your life. You are probably doing exactly what most people ask themselves....'what is the meaning of life'? That's what you are discovering - every single day - every frustrating moment - every time there's a breathtaking, forever vivid snapshot in your mind - stretching boundaries - making connections all over the world. You are 'being'. Which - at the end of the day - is probably exactly what the answer to the question is. Sending my Love, Teri.
Hi Teri,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments. I sometimes question my own thoughts and motives and it's helpful to hear feedback from others. I hope you'll keep reading and continue to respond. I loved the time we had together 1:1.
Love from Paris,
Elaine