Papinou

"Papi" is a French expression for "Grandpa". "Nou" reminded me of "nounours" = teddy bear. So when I saw the pseudonym "Papinou" I conjured up the image of "Grandpa teddy bear". The photo supported this image - blue eyes, nice smile, a certain gentleness. I discovered Papinou via Meetic, the largest French internet dating site. Or rather he discovered me. He "flashed" me. Huh? What does THAT mean? "Vous avez reçu un flash."
After some head scratching, I figured that "flash" was Meetic-speak for "wink" in eHarmony-speak. It's called sending a "smile" (sourire) in eDarling-speak. I'm learning a whole new language!

Meetic is big on pseudonyms and short on personality profiles. It also seems to focus on physical appearance - with specific questions regarding weight, silhouette, and style of dress. For "style" I had to choose between BCBG (huh?), branché (trendy), business, bohème, classique, ethnique, décontracté, rock, sportif, or other. Only in France! Another question: which of your body parts is the most attractive? And what are you looking for in him? Pecs? abdominals? hands? feet? butt? etc. To be fair, eyes and smile are also included in the list, as is "the most beautiful is not on the list".

Anyway, besides age, pleasant photos, a non-smoker who likes restaurant and cinema, plus "flash", I didn't have much else to go on when it came to Papinou's description. And after several emails back and forth, we finally met for coffee after my return to Paris.

He seemed surprised to see that I resembled the photo in my profile. Apparently, lots of people don't resemble their photos? He made lots of disparaging remarks about botox and liars. Lots of disparaging remarks about a lot of things. And he was too eager to hold hands and tutoie. Not my cup of tea! So much for my initiation into online dating . . .

Kissing frogs

eHarmony? eDarling? or Meetic? or all three?

Do I really dare subscribe to an internet dating site?

I had a great visit with Teri and JD who told me how they met through eHarmony. They explained the process thoroughly. Hmmm.

Later, I met Catherine and Jean Pierre, each with three school-aged children, who met through the French site Meetic. They, too, swore that the system does work - even though it is extremely time consuming to go through dozens, sometimes hundreds, of profiles of eligible singles.

Eventually, after being assured that yes, nice girls (and older women) DO go online, and yes, there are plenty of older gentlemen out there - I decided to subscribe. Besides, I'm not desperate. I am perfectly happy living alone - although an occasional dinner companion might be nice. Furthermore, I decided that it could make a good story - maybe some journalistic research? Could I deduct the subscription costs from my taxes? Or maybe another study in social anthropology? Why not?

So which site to choose? And more importantly, how do I describe myself? And what AM I looking for, anyway??

I eventually signed on to all three sites.

I subscribed to eHarmony first, but in hindsight that didn't make much sense - their members are primarily located in the U.S. and I'm looking for a dinner date, not a penpal. The eHarmony site did offer some very interesting contrasts with the French sites which I'll go into in a later post.

I also subscribed to a European site called eDarling. Funny name, but very similar in format to eHarmony in that it involves an extensive questionnaire which supposedly enables a computer to provide good matches. I'd had a couple of "hits" on this site and started corresponding with a couple of people but had yet to actually meet anyone face to face. I was traveling in September, and then unexpectedly returned to the U.S. in October. Now that I'm back, maybe I can get back down to "business". And I have.

Oh, so now you want details? Stay tuned!

Salon du Chocolat

Now that I'm back, I've been busy unpacking and trying to make my apartment seem more like home. I've been buying plants for both indoors and outdoors. Did I mention that I have a balcony? I'll post photos soon.

In the meantime, I've also been out exploring again. I saw a poster announcing the Salon du Chocolat and decided to visit.


There were demonstrations of all types.







And a Chocolate Masters contest with famous judges:



One of the judges was Jean Charles Rochoux. You may remember his shop

I liked the sculptures:




The show also had displays of non-edible uses of chocolate - such as skin care:


But the show wasn't just about displays, there was plenty to eat!

Jim Fluckey

I lost two very special people during the month of October. My dad on October 15th, and a special mentor, Jim Fluckey, on October 7th. Mr. Fluckey (as we called him in high school) was my first French teacher. I had him for three years of French at West High School in Denver. Mr. Fluckey was also the music teacher and director of the concert choir. I was fortunate to be accepted to the concert choir which meant I got to sing in West High's Singing Christmas Tree for two years. Those were some of the best years of my life.

I also participated in two of the three "alumni" Christmas Tree concerts in 1982 and 2004. Furthermore, I was a French major in college, and when it came time to do my student teaching, I went back to West High and served as student teacher in French under Mr. Fluckey. Following that year, I moved to Paris and stayed for six years. I think Mr. Fluckey finally forgave me for having a better accent in French than he did.

We stayed in touch ever since I graduated from West High in 1967 - most recently when we talked via Skype from my apartment in Paris to his room at the Hospice of St. John in Lakewood. Jim Fluckey passed away on October 7th. He was 88 years old. I arrived in Denver in time to attend a memorial service for him on October 17th. I met his children and grandchildren for the first time, and also reconnected with many old friends - both students and teachers from West High. I'll miss Jim Fluckey. He was my mentor, and a big reason that I live in France.


Here is a short video that you can watch on YouTube commemorating our final alumni concert in 2004:

My Dad, part 2

I've just returned to Paris after a 15 day visit back home in Colorado. My days were filled with both joy and sadness as I spent many hours at my father's bedside as he slipped away from this earthly life. The sadness is evident. And the joy? Spending hours with sister, mother, nieces and other members of the family who paid their respects and sat around reminiscing about happier times. I was able to reconnect with aunts, uncles, and cousins whom I hadn't seen for decades.

The last three years of my dad's life were difficult for him and everyone around him. He took a bad fall in May 2008 and was ever after mostly paralyzed, confined to bed, unable to stand, to walk, and at first, even to feed himself. It was like talking care of a baby all over again, but one who was completely lucid and quite demanding, often summoning help with a whistle.

My dad was typical of his generation in that he believed in the traditional role of the father - concerned with earning a living and leaving the nurturing to my mother. He didn't change diapers or read us stories or share his feelings, but we always knew that he was proud of us and our achievements.

We saw a whole new side of him when the grandchildren and later the great grandchildren came along. He softened and became much more affectionate.

I like to think he's in a better place now. I try not to think about the last three years of his life and have chosen some photos of him during his happier, younger days.

He loved golf and fishing and he loved my mom. They were married for 61 years. The fishing was great near their second home in Fort Garland in southern Colorado.


My parents took only one major trip abroad during their life together, and that was a trip to Iran where my dad worked as a consultant from 1969-71. Here they are in Greece on their way to Iran:


Charlie and I went to visit my parents in Teheran in 1970. They always had fond memories of the Iranian adventure.

My Dad

My Dad passed away peacefully on Friday evening. He was surrounded by family. I am glad I was there to say goodbye and to support my mother, sister, and brothers.

Back in Colorado - temporarily

My father is gravely ill and I have returned to Colorado to be with my family. I will update my blog when possible. Thank you for your support during this trying time.